Finally · Leaving · This · Craptacular · Timezone

I'm at a coffee shop up on Frement that boasts they are the home of sour cream coffee cake. There are many varieties; I had the marionberry.
There are a lot more things I could be doing to utilize this day, my one day "off", like study for my biology exam next week or improve my human development presentation or work on my lab report or anything at all, really, but I feel in a funk. I want to take a trip. Or just do anything, really. I feel like I don't have any friends here and that is really annoying. Saddening? Not cool. At Smith (I know, come on) people would call me up, knock on my door, etc, but I feel like that just doesn't happen here. I always have to go way out of my way to track people down and practically force them to meet up with me. (H - this doesn't apply to you because I know you are legitimately busy with applying to Peace Corps, etc). It's just frustrating to go from having a million friends around me all the time to just my boyfriend, who I'm not even sure wants to be around me that much.

I left work early today because I've been feeling oddly, indescribably sick. I took a really long nap and read some from my biology book. Then I napped some more. I apparently slept through all of Wade's text messages check to make sure I was ok and asking what I was sick with. Frankly, I think it's stress. I have work Tuesday through Saturday and biology class from 9-5 Sundays and then Monday is my ONE DAY to try to get anything done although I am generally studying and doing laundry all day so it's never relaxing. And then of course I have class Monday nights from 6-9:50. I have to say, I think I made the right choice in avoiding class after work, since it's just too hard to put in the effort when I've had a full work day, but I really want a break! No more full time job and 9 credits. Next term I'm just taking one class.

The new living situation has been going well. Glad to see a fellow LJ-er (who I'm not sure reads mine but I read hers sometimes...) is going through a similar situation of figuring out schedules with the live-in boyfriend. We haven't been fighting but we have been eating a lot of pizza instead of cooking. He offered to cook for me tonight but a) I could probably use getting off the couch and b) he's busy in the garage fixing his friend's car and if I wait for him to come make dinner it'll be 9:30.

Oh yeah, I meant to tell you all what classes I'm taking. Cell biology, which is a prerequisite for Anatomy and Physiology (that I'll hopefully take the 1st section of next term) and Human Development (kind of your basic psych class). It's really different to be in community college. Also, like a hundredth the price. Since I'll be paying for Smith since my great grandchildren die.

Willy is upset that the heat is making so much noise. We went for a run together this morning. I accidentally let him poop on someone's lawn because I didn't realize that bag I grabbed had flown out of my pocket.

Now I'm just starting to babble. I hope February is going well for everyone. Sad I'll be in lab on Valentine's Day instead of on a killer bicycle ride around Portland, but oh well. Have a great month everyone!

I am doing everything I can think of on the internet to distract myself from the fact that I am starting school again (already!!!) in a little over an hour. I am super nervous. I don't have the book yet, which doesn't help either. I ordered it two weeks ago but due to the holidays it's probably still going to be a while.

We're moving next weekend. I spent most of today taking things off my walls, taping up boxes and lugging things down the narrow staircase and outside into the garage. Next weekend I work all day Saturday, have class all day Sunday, and then my man took Monday off to help me move the rest of my stuff that he doesn't get for me out of the garage during the weekend. I have 12 weeks of class ahead of me and I just cannot convey how nervous I am! I keep thinking that somehow I'll get out of having to write any papers, but that is kind of ridiculous...it's just that I'm not great at writing and I'm sure that hasn't improved in the last two years since I've been out of school.

It's been raining all day but I'm going to bike to class while I still can. I would take the bus but I don't want to pay $4 to wait in the rain for the bus when I can just get on my bike and deal with it and get home in less than 15 minutes. Especially since class gets out at 9:50 and who knows how often the buses come after ten...I might as well just suck it up and put on my rain pants. Any one who looks at me funny obviously has never had a pair of jeans soaked through before.

I need to go tell Terry not to lock me out....

Ahhh!!!! As long as I can stay awake I'll probably be fine....

It's not snowing. I guess I'll have to go to work all this week. Kind of happy though, because that means I have fewer days to play the awkward avoidance dance with Terry now that I've given her my notice and she hates me because I will no longer be giving her $500 a month any more. Here are a couple details on the move: The boyfriend and I decided we'd like to live together. We started looking early due to the MANY specifications we have, namely a garage, NO ROOMMATES, accepts Pit Bulls, affordable (which is not much), good public transit options/not too far from either of our workplaces, not in a sketchy area (I know there aren't many in Portland but 82nd was ruled out) and then of course things like a fenced yard for Willy and a washer and dryer were bonuses we were hoping for. Needless to say, we found a lot of shit holes. And a couple almosts. And then this orange townhouse I came upon one night just after it was posted on CL and called the guy immediately. He showed us the place two days later and before you know it we were handing over a check for the deposit. So now I have a new home on NE 60th, if I can just make it to January 9th. And perhaps mention to my parents that I'm going to be living with my boyfriend... Although the day we're set to move in is also a day I work and the day before I start officially giving my weekends over to community college, I am desperate to get out of here. It's been so terrible since I said I was moving out, even though we had a thirty-days notice agreement. It's not like I broke a lease! And when we were approved for this place we couldn't pass it up. I mean, there are rose bushes in the back yard! And air conditioning! Who would say no? And to end on a happy note, my coworker's roommate is jewish and without a stocking (obviously). When I was told of the difficulty finding a "jewish stocking" even as a gag, I decided to knit one. Although it's a little stubby, I'm quite proud of the outcome.  

I'm working tomorrow since I'm headed to Colorado Wednesday so today is my one day weekend. I had breakfast with Wade (we're celebrating one year tomorrow!), then came home to knit up a FRENZY. I really want to wear this shawl to Kristen's wedding but I've been slacking. I'm on the border and have already gotten through two corners, so now it's just a matter of bunkering down and finishing it. I still have a couple hours tonight and then some time Tuesday I guess, but I really want to block it so you can see how much f-ing work I put into the lace. Will post pictures when done.

So today I got home, knit to Ferris Bueller, walked to get coffee, saw that the cafe on Lombard and Interstate was closed (and apparently always is on Sundays, what is THAT?), went to Freddy's for soup supplies, considered Starbuck's but was saved, walked all the way to Posie's in Kenton and enjoyed a piece of zucchini break -delicious- with my americano, then went home to knit more to a background of Wedding Crashers, and now here I am in the kitchen waiting for my Butternut Squash Soup to get to the point of puree. Don't judge my run-on. It's been a pretty productive yet relaxing day overall.

Tomorrow I'm working 9-5 even though the clinic is open 10:30-6:30 because my boss agreed to help me out on getting home in time to make what my occasional vegetarian cookbook calls the "drop dead chocolate cake". Hopefully it doesn't take me too long...and I don't know how I'm going to transport it, since I need to ride to work on Tuesday morning and if I take the bus to Wade's I'll have to get back home to get my motorcycle...hmmm. We'll make it work. :) I hope the cake turns out. There aren't a lot of ingredients and it's supposed to be really good, so I'm optimistic.

And then of course Wednesday is the Colorado trip! I am super excited. Will let you all know how that goes.

Abby and Huelo, thanks for the comments. Huelo, I'll let you know. I've been invited to two more Thanksgivings now! I feel so popular. How big is your family? Are we talking dozens of relatives, kids tables, etc? Just curious. ;)

Back to soup and knitting!

Ahh November. A time to start anew.

As in I bought some multivitamins yesterday and I am going to try really hard to take one everyday. Even though I felt sort of sick after taking them...actually, really sick, but that may also have had to do with recent encounters with meat. Hard to tell.

Next week I will have been in this relationship for a year. Move over, Chris M of 2002! Things are going swimmingly. Haven't had the guts to tell my current housemate/landlady that we're seriously talking about moving in together. I'll give her at least her 30 days notice though. Don't worry, we're not looking at the moment so it's still a while coming, I just don't want to spend another summer living with the teacher! She just called up to me and as I ran to the door I thought, what have I done now? Luckily she just wanted to have a couple graham crackers. No complaints about putting away the dishes I wash or taking out the recycling I barely use (because I'm not here much). No, that was last week.

I realized that tomorrow is the start of not just any 5-day week, but the last one I have in November! Because when I'm done Saturday I have Sunday off, then back to work for two days, then off to Colorado for Kristen's wedding, then back to work the Monday after but taking the Friday after that off to avoid another 6-day week, then the week after is Thanksgiving! Although I don't have plans for Thanksgiving. :( I wish I could hang out with my good ol' surrogate family, the Zorns, but alas I will be in Oregon. And they'll probably be in NJ, yes? I've had an offer or two but I really want to take Wade with me so I want him to be comfortable too. I'm sure as hell not making the two of us a Thanksgiving dinner. Maybe next year I'll host one, when I have a home I feel comfortable inviting people to, but that is not currently the case, so I think I'll just butt in on someone else's party and bring one delicious dish instead of worrying about making 10. And of course there would be pies...oy.

Class options for winter term continue to look scary, but I have committed myself to at least ONE class, so I will do it. I'll just have to write down all the course numbers for all the classes I could possibly take (since I'm at the bottom of the PCC totem pole and won't sign up until most are filled) and hope for the best. I'm starting to think that if I actually get into biology I need to take that on it's own, because 9-5 Sundays or Tuesday-Friday nights IN ADDITION TO another class at some other magical place in the week (when am I supposed to do homework?) is not going to happen with my full time job. Noperoos.

We'll see. I'll keep you updated.

Wow I wrote that whole thing and then it got deleted when I hit the wrong key. Stupid mac.

Anyway, things are going well. I bought some things to attempt to take up painting, which I plan to work on right after this. I painted the side of my dresser last week for kicks and today I move onto canvas. Probably going to paint the last line from the Mary Oliver poem The Summer Day since it's a nice line and the poem makes me think of my man (who is also doing swimmingly, by the way). I started to translate the poem into Italian a few months ago but decided for obvious reasons that if I were to paint it I might want a good translation, so I looked it up.

Dimmi, che cosa pensi di fare
della tua unica vita, selvaggia e preziosa?

Off I go to be inspired. Have a wonderful week everyone.

It's been a while. Where to start? I'm sitting in the "living room" section of my 2-room 2nd floor space. Thanks to Terry's brilliant suggestion I have turned what was once a few extra inches of padding on my futon into a sort of floor-sofa. Covered with my trusty throw, of course, as was that crazy plastic lawn chair loveseat thing I had in my dorm room senior year. Makes things look more cozy. I also finally put together what is working as my bookcase - one of those metal shelving units made up of square pieces and plastic connectors that you make into various shapes. I think it'll work out okay, as long as I don't overload it. I even have my books arranged (birth books, knitting/motorcycle/woodworking, novels, embarrassing novels in the back, cookbooks, various Italian/German texts and whatnot). I thought putting all this in order might help me to feel more comfortable and think about work less.

Speaking of thinking of work less, which I'll try not to get too much into, I took today and tomorrow off. I called my boss this morning and asked if it would be okay, because I feel like if I don't take some time off I might go crazy (or slap someone across the face if they say the wrong thing to me). It's not that work's been bad, it's just that it's been stressing me out. I don't know if I"m overwhelmed or if I'm just not letting myself take the time I need to come down after work or what, but it's the only thing I think about and pretty much always on my mind. Except, for the most part, when I'm doing *certain* activities, as my man pointed out, but even then sometimes. And that's just sad. So here I am, on my little three day weekend (because I normally have Sundays and Wednesdays off so I just stole today and tomorrow will take Wednesday's place) trying to get stuff done that I need to do and also just knit and read and bike around town like I used to. Going well so far.

Let's see what else...relationship appears to be going well post our little 12-day break. We've been back on for a couple weeks now and I'm hopeful. He's making me dinner tonight. :) First time a boyfriend has ever made me dinner I think....yeah, pretty sure. I'm excited. I also really hope we get to go on this amazing motorcycle ride soon that he planned out. It's 190 miles, out to the Dalles, around Mt Hood, all that good stuff. I'm thinking tomorrow I'll go for a little ride myself somewhere. I've really taken to this motorcycle riding. At first I was terrified pretty much every time I even thought about going for a ride but I'm getting more confidence. Today I realized I was more worried on my bicycle than I have been lately on my motorcycle! Although I WAS riding down Interstate and had just been passed by a huge truck. Muy pericoloso. Did I just mix Italian and Spanish? Who knows anymore.

Alright, enough blabbing. Back to reading and some cold, cold water. Thank goodness the heat wave is gone. Enjoy August, everyone! 

my landlord is coming by in 12 minutes (although he'll probably be late) and I need to figure out what I'm telling him.
The situation will most likely go:

Michael: Stephanie, that person I showed the unit to last night really liked it. She's willing to put down a deposit immediately. Could you be out by this weekend?
Me: Um....
Michael: I understand it's hard, but you see my situation here. If you are unable to stay I need to rent this unit as soon as possible.
Me: well...um....
Michael: So the prorated rent will be $202.09. And I'll give you back part of your deposit as long as the apartment seems in good condition. Good luck finding a place. Bye! [leaves]
Me: shit. 

I really thought this was going to be over for a year. Well, I guess the best thing I can do is complain and curse my former roommate, who screwed me over so royally.

FUCK YOU MONICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I was all upset that my relationship was not quite the same, that we were talking about things I didn't like to talk about, that serious stuff was coming up and all that. And then it finally hit me. I mean, I KNEW that we were having an extremely long honeymoon phase, but when it just kept going for six months I just kinda figured, maybe this is what it will always be like? I was wrong. Not that we're at each other's throats now or anything, it's just no longer that, I love you I love you I love you let's cuddle for all eternity and I want to buy you a house and I love you I love you I love you. I mean let's face it, does anyone really want that forever? Usually it ends long before you get sick of it, and even though I sure do miss it, it's best things have moved on into real relationship mode. Probably mostly due to the fact that I haven't had a relationship that's made it out of the honeymoon phase since I was 15. Wow is that depressing.

It's my birthday on Sunday and we've been trying to figure out what to do. Or where to go rather since I said long ago I wanted to continue the hiking tradition. He convinced me not to buy a sleeping bag/pack/any gear for that matter and now it looks like we might be camping after all because he's resting his busted shoulder/neck so that we can. And because hotels that allow dogs are not cheap and we have to bring Willy with us so that the roommate doesn't kill him or make him stay in the crate for the entire weekend. If only I knew where we were going....we'll figure it out.

Oh, and the roommate search continues. Monica is officially moving out at the end of the month and I am yet to find someone to replace her. Worst case, I don't find anyone, forfeit the deposit, and move out. To where? Who knows. I certainly don't. I hope I find a roommate. The guy who was supposed to come tonight just called and said some crazy thing happened to his bike so he needs to get it home so he can repair it in order to get to work for 6AM tomorrow. Good luck to him. We'll see if we get along. 

Alrighty I'm off to enjoy my "Saturday" night since I worked this weekend and have tomorrow off. Happy almost Wednesday to everyone.

I worked last Saturday, and will work next Saturday, and this morning as I was playing bejeweled on my computer for the nth game I thought, why do I complain so much about working Saturdays?  It's more the 6 day week thing I suppose, and the fact that I don't get paid enough to afford basically anything so...there's a lot of underlying bitterness there. Even though I like my job. However, you can only say "but at least I like my job" so many times when you're hoping your rent check isn't cashed until your next paycheck comes...

On a more positive note, I got my ass out of bed at 8:30 this morning and went for a run. I also sat at  the coffee shop across the street for a couple hours reading An Italian Education by Tim Parks which I've had for years but not opened until now. I've also talked to a couple people who are hopefully potential roommates, but I can't wait until this whole ridiculous search is over.

Last night I realized I need more friends. How to go about this? Not sure exactly. It occurred to me that aside from an invitation to go dancing (which I accepted but then later backed out on when I realized I had said I would go DANCING) I haven't really been asked to do anything with friends since...well frankly, I don't remember. I've called/texted/emailed some people an exhausting amount of times, to the point where you wonder if they really want to be your friend. It makes me miss living in a dorm, which is sad, but at least I had dozens of potential people to hang out with right in the same building. Maybe I don't need more friends, maybe I need to enjoy being alone more. Who knows.

I think I'll keep reading because I can't clean anymore (damn dog!!) and I'm still waiting for my man to finish being super mechanic doing free work for his coworkers that ends up taking the entire weekend. Sigh.

On Friday I am moving 3 miles northwest of where I currently live, into the "real" North Portland. I will be near my fav knit shop, the breakfast place I go to most often with my man, and not far from the max. Closer to work. Further from the city. In a newly renovated apartment with, count 'em, ONE roommate! Super excited about that last part.

Lots going through my mind right now. Need to run more, spend more time with Erin. Actually go out for dinner with Huelo this week. (Maybe Thursday in the middle of my last burst of packing?)

The microwave's making noises. Happy done Monday.

<3

I've been very stressed lately. Too many things to mention but if you've talked to me at all lately you probably know that I'm looking to move out of the crazy house on Graham Street. Monica and I found something we like in Nopo but we're having trouble deciding on account of the fact that a deposit is expected and we can't pay it at the moment. I miss living rent free.

So on top of the moving situation and the millions of other things going on, or rather due to all these things, I've been a bit on edge lately. And today I was just ready to sit at home alone all night and feel sorry for myself but instead I had a lovely date with my man. He picked me up on his motorcycle and we went to Laughing Planet so I could finally use my free burrito coupon for being a green commuter in January. Then we hopped back on the bike and went off to Pix, where we were severely out of place but none the less enjoyed some fancy liquor - just one each, I had grappa (for the first time since Italia) - and a shared chocolate thing that was AMAZING. Then one last hop on the motorcycle to drop me at home, gave the boy some fresh homemade banana bread to take home and said goodbye about 12 times. Needless to say, I feel much better before. Love sure is nice.